for my friend

We weren't best friends by any stretch of the imagination. Most of the time, we lead entirely separate lives. But every once in a while when the stars aligned and we found some time, we'd reminisce and look forward and laugh. We had a friendship built on a love of laughter I think.

It's funny...we became friends in high school and I remember sitting in the commons one day early in my high school career, and I thought that I should like to become her friend. I can't remember how it happened, but before long we were quoting television shows and giggling in classes. We played with our dogs and had Felicity marathons and painted pottery. She lived around the corner from me, so we got together often in high school.

We both went off to college, with sporadic phone calls and emails. Her travels took her to Georgia and France. Mine took me to Utah. My parents moved away from that neighborhood, so it wasn't quite so convenient to see one another. We managed to stay on one another's radar, but not much more than that.

The last time I saw her, we had some tea on a lovely June day this past year. We sat outside in the sun and talked about life. I was the first person she told about this guy she had started dating because he was a friend, and she was worried about telling their other friends. I never found out how that was going. She told me all about her dog, how much she missed her, how much she loved her. She talked about her job and getting a promotion, and she was happy.

We had talked about seeing each other in December but it didn't work out. Just too busy sometimes I guess. It didn't seem like a big deal at the time. What perspective a few weeks will give you. When you say to your friend "I'll see you later!" as you part ways, it doesn't ever enter your mind that maybe there won't be a later. I wish there was a later for her...not for me, but for the people who won't move on from this in a few months. For her parents and brother, for whom each new year will be a reminder of what's been lost; for whom every holiday and birthday and family event will be bittersweet because of those peals of laughter that no longer ring out. For her roommate and close friends, who will feel her absence every time they go out for breakfast or take a road trip. For her puppy, who did everything she could, I'm sure, to save her and who will never understand where she went or why she's not coming back.

How do you get over that? What is there to say?

Be safe. Be good to the people you love.

"Forgive my grief for one removed,

Thy creature, whom I found so fair.

I trust he lives in thee, and there

I find him worthier to be loved."

-"In Memoriam" Tennyson